I write my blogs based on experiences, the way in which I see things, and what I observe and process. Why not transform those experiences into words?
Have you ever experienced being the one on the outside, or being brought into a fight you didn’t even know existed? Have you felt that there is a place, mentally, where everyone is working against you? If that’s the case, how can you win or survive? Is it your mindset or is it really happening? There are those who want you to think that your intuition needs to be calibrated. However, the emotions in your gut, the body’s second brain, are very real. We have these triggers for a reason.
Bullying can occur at any age and can be expressed as different levels of energy. The sign will manifest as a slight warning or worse. Run the other way fast—have the police on speed dial. Bullying also can manifest in groups. Such aggressive and manipulative behavior can occur with family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, just about anyone. There are countless reasons why this happens. It’s possible that some individuals see something in you that makes him uncomfortable or reminds him of something he’s been trying to avoid. Why can’t you just be you? Why must you be someone else to fit in? If you find yourself in this situation, know that a train has many stations; just keep riding. The troublesome behavior directed from the other party is draining, and if you allow yourself to become caught in the current, the fight will drain the life force right out of you. However, if you’re aware, you possess the power to repel energy traveling along your path. You possess the will to acknowledge, see, process, and let it go. If you’re not comfortable with a particular space, and you find it unacceptable in your life, pause and seek something else. Further, don’t let anyone tell you that the problem is with you. That’s manipulating you to remain where you are, and then you become the object and dumping ground for stuff that doesn’t pertain to you and is unacceptable in your life. Easier said than done, right? I agree, and I’ve been there more times than I can count. We all fall off the wagon, but the next second is critical, the one in which you have the opportunity to aspire to rise above it all. Don’t spend valuable energy dwelling on the fact that you succumbed to a moment of weakness. It’s not weakness; you have a heart. It happens.
Remember, we’re all free to make choices; however, we do not have control over their outcomes. Therefore, to address the plight you face at that particular moment, it is essential to practice pushing the pause button deliberately, and remaining silent. Step away and reflect. Ask yourself, “What part did I play in this situation? Or was it projection? Is this person, group of acquaintances or circle for me?” Use your history to assess your current situation. Those facts will determine if it’s you or the other party.
I was bullied when I was younger, and I remember being afraid. I remember vaguely, but I did not engage the uncomfortable behavior. I remained completely silent and simply stared blankly at the other person. I’m a professional when it comes to avoidance. Anyway, after some time, the fear dissipated and the situation or behavior disappeared. Even to this day, if I feel that kind of energy approaching me, I see it and I repel it. You want to avoid drifting into a space of judgment. Embrace the silence, hear the whispers while you’re alone. Face what’s before you, yet you, saying to yourself, “Do you see me? I see you.” The instant you notice the character or energy that signals doubt remain calm, and turn the other way or keep moving.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve prayed. I’ve prayed even when I didn’t understand. I read, even when I didn’t understand. I trusted God that much that He has the answers; therefore, there’s no need for me to be concerned. He asked only that I show up, and He would handle the rest. He’s my source of everything I am and need, even when I’m not aware of Him.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31.
I learned the following from a course I attended a couple of years ago about professional and personal relationships. Observe others from the following perspectives:
- The persona observed, the way in which you see the individual.
- The real persona, the way they actually are, not based upon your perception.
- The potential persona, the positive character observed; for example, the relationship with his/her family. You’ve noticed the good that exists within that person.
The most important of the three is an individual’s existing potential. When you focus on potential, you’re assessing the person from a positive perspective. This perspective helps you overcome and release your negative feelings. By doing so, you may be able to change the course of events.
If you understand the why, you can overcome the challenges. Trust in yourself. You’re much smarter than you think.
“Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder.” Henry David Thoreau